Getting to know each other dating stage
Ben Stuart is the new pastor of Passion City Church, in Washington D. He comes from Breakaway Ministries, where he served as Executive Director for 11 years – it’s a weekly Bible study attended by thousands of college students on the campus of Texas A&M.
His passion is speaking to the youth on how to navigate life and love in an age where it’s more difficult than ever to find the right mate and maintain our Christian values.
Before we leave this subject, let me strongly encourage you: Do not initiate a conversation about delicate subjects such as sexual abuse without first consulting wise counsel.
Let a trusted voice help you think through how to talk about your past in a constructive way. SIGN OFF FROM THE COMMUNITYSEE ALSO: 10 Things You Should Know about Dating The last thing you need is the support of your community.
Song of Solomon says it this way, "Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it. Or, even when your feelings are hurt, are you able to speak words to one another that are wise and bring healing and health to the relationship?
If a man offered for love all the wealth of this house, he would be utterly despised." How do you know the commitment is there for you? You need the skill of communication if this thing is going to work.
Countless times I have sat across the table from young men and women who have asked me the question, "How can I be confident that this is the person I am supposed to marry? But let’s examine here four signs that your relationship is ready for this next step of commitment.
There are several ways to answer this (more of which are included in my book #Wasn’t Planning AShameless Plug There And Yet Here We Are).
For all of us it will involve confessing sins that we have committed. There is much more to say here, but one direct benefit you will discover is that powerful healing can occur within you when you can share with someone even the most broken and sad parts of you and they can say, “I am sorry that happened.” “I forgive you.” “I love you.” “I still want you.” Confession and repentance open the doors for deep healing. Not only does confession and mercy knit together some of the broken spaces inside of you, it can knit the two of you together in a stronger union. And He continues to patiently forgive us when we are at our worst.Wanting to knock boots is great, but if you can’t stand to talk to them when that “need to get laid” urge has faded, then there’s really nothing compelling to keep people around.Believe me: there’s nothing quite so startling as the realization of “wait, I can’t you should be attracted to.In Song of Solomon, the beloved says to her man, "Set me as a seal upon your heart... It grabs hold and says, "I will never let go." There is a deep sense of commitment. SKILL OF COMMUNICATION The second sign is a growing skill in communication.For love is as strong as death." How is love like death? When death takes hold of something it does not let go. A resolve to stay even when it requires the discomfort of working through problems. Proverbs 12 declares, “There is one who’s rash words are like thrusts of a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” When you disagree, do your words become weapons? Are you willing to hurt the other person so you can win the fight?